hi, Carina --

it's a great series of questions. I think that spirituality, especially in America and particularly in California, where the New Age ideals are quite dominant, is severely misunderstood as this feel-good, blissful, positive, love and light rainbowfest that will make everybody whole overnight, soothe upset childhoods in a single wave of a magical wand, and relieve fear, anxiety, doubt, anger and control issues without anyone actually having to do any hard work.

yikes.

in my experience -- spirituality means purification. it means heat -- an inner heat generated by real spiritual processes (the yogic science of India, for example, or other related work from other traditions) that causes whatever impurities are in our systems to start being thrown off.

and the process of purification -- at least for me and the many many colleagues and students I've observed, over the years, burning in the same crucible I've lived in -- is not necessarily blissful, fun, peaceful, or entertaining.

when Jesus Christ said (it's in both the conventional gospels and the Gnostic gospels as well): "do you think I've come bringing peace!? I have not! I have come bringing fire, the sword, and war." he was referencing this very principle.

to someone educated in the ways of the Indian yogis - -it's obvious what Jesus was saying -- fire = purification, the sword = discrimination, the ability to tell Reality from Illusion, and war = war against the negative qualities, notably egoism.

conflict is a natural part of spiritual growth -- when a group of people are engaged in spiritual evolution together, they're ALL purifying at the same rate, more or less -- and their egoism will, at a certain stage, skyrocket. so will their kama (desire). that's a cocktail just designed for conflict -- walking ids bumping into one another and having differing opinions, needs, wants, etc.

I lived in an ashram for many years (mercifully we lived behind high walls -- to spare the rest of the world the craziness we would otherwise have all inflicted on it, I've no doubt!) and during this kind of purification phase. we were about 50 or so Western people, many of whom had never been exposed to high shakti and spiritual energy before, in this lifetime anyway, and we were like zoo inmates for about 2 solid years. acting, really, like hyperactive kindergarteners on speed.

why? purification. plain and simple.

you wrote:
"People often forget that the rise of the kundalini sets off samskaras to be exhausted? What do you think?"

yes, absolutely. or they don't forget -- no one bothered to explain this principle to them in detail. people somehow think kundalini just magically rises and they'll gain instant enlightenment.

yeah, right.

"How do you embrace the ups and downs with an attitute of total balance and positivity at all times? I honestly have hardly seen any spiritualist in a total balanced state without any fluctuations. Therefore I wonder, what are your methods to surrender the results of your thoughts and deeds, creating the most positive outcome at all times."

well, you learn how to walk upright, as a child, only after you've fallen down and skinned your knees dozens of times.

I'd love to say I have an attitude of total balance and positivity at all times -- !!!!!!! I'd like to say every serious spiritual person I've ever met has this attitude! even some of the saints I've met -- well, there are always ups and downs. even the avataras still have some human emotions, and human psychology -- they were born in the constraints/elements of the human body.

for myself, I can say this -- more and more I find that surrender is the only thing that keeps me laughing even when I'm angry. when I am alert enough to surrender, as completely as I can, to my guru lineage and to the Divine Mother, for throwing whatever challenge, whatever lila is coming my way -- and I'm grateful for it even while it chafes or irritates me -- then the challenge is still there, the potential for irritation is still there, but I don't care so much about the results of it all -- I've given them up and over to god.

that helps.

often I'll jump on a mantra when I notice I'm getting upset -- some illusion-breaking mantras in particular, that seem to slice through whatever negativity is playing around me. these help within seconds, usually.

being willing to admit I'm experiencing emotional tumult is also important -- if I can't own it, admit it, be honest about it with myself, how can I expect to wash it out of my system? and how can I expect god to help me if I won't be honest, myself, about my own shortcomings? so I have to admit it, 'hey, I'm really getting angry here, or thrown off by this situation, what can I do to fix it, to bring myself back to some kind of equanimity?'

finally, the moment I realize I'm losing it emotionally, or I'm in some conflict situation that I really don't like, or I'm acting in a way that I don't really want to (will regret it later), I thank my guru lineage, especially Shirdi Baba, my sadguru. sometimes I'm not too happy saying, "okay, you've got me AGAIN on this same issue, Maharaj!" and other times I'm laughing by the time I realize the set-up, the upset and the whole lila was of his making from the outset! either way, to throw it right back to god is important. then I'm not holding anything.

"Is it not a positive thing to try put one lesson into positive action rather than to hear many lessons and ideas of how one is not evolved enough to handle difficulties?I often hear words such as, he or she does so many years of practice and still has this or that afflictions!" sounds like a familiar judgment call? :-)"

well, it's always surprising, isn't it, when so-called 'spiritual people' are still acting unenlightened!?! especially if they're pretending to be something quite different from what is really going on in them. human foibles are one thing -- everyone blows it, sooner or later, we're all works in progress. hypocrisy, though, is entirely something else.

I think that's why humility is so so so key to spirituality -- if you can't really be humble about your frailties and mistakes, negative traits and secret desires -- you're wasting a lot of time and effort to spin your wheels and go nowhere.

in terms of taking a few spiritual principles and doing your best to put those into action, even though you may have other negative character traits -- of course of course, this is a good thing! we all start wherever we start, and any improvement or movement in a positive direction is better than none at all -- and over time, is bound to produce some more positive, beautiful effects. but it's challenging in the beginning stages.

"I sometimes think that when struggles and conflicts arise in ones life it shows all the more how much we are cared and love dby the Divine Goddess ... or force. What do you think? "

yes, I agree with you, from one angle. it's my experience that the struggles and conflicts are evidence of god(dess)'s love for us -- because god loves us so much, It's willing to help us purify quickly and intensely, rather than dragging out our samsaras/karmas over lifetimes.

it's like the school-teacher who sees immense promise in one student, and so may be a bit harsher or more demanding with that child, not out of a meanness of spirit, but because the teacher REALLY recognizes the potential the student has, and wants to help them develop it properly.

at the same time -- struggles and conflicts are also evidence of whatever mountains of karmas we've accumulated in past lifetimes and get to confront now. it's not fun, but it is a kind of fun, if you know what I mean.

the challenges are also an innocent mirror back to us of whatever we're carrying, in our heart, mind, soul, etc. -- Nature is always a mirror, just showing us whatever face back we show it, amplified. so if I'm in a black mood, everything around me will tend to be upset, moody, depressing or depressed. if I'm angry and cranky, people will come off to me angrily -- they just do! it's natural. when I'm joyous, people tend to show me happy faces. if I'm impatient, no doubt someone will yell at me for being in such a hurry! happens all the time, even with complete strangers. *grinning*

Nature is always listening and responding, and showing us -- often writ large -- exactly whatever we're showing to Nature. that's why exercising some control over our actions and emotions is a good idea.

it's also, then, the perfect opportunity to CHANGE our facial expression -- stop acting a certain way, drop the attachment or frustration, grief or anger or whatever it is, and start smiling instead. if I want to change the reflection in the mirror, I simply have to change my own expression, first..... and then see the beautiful, loving smile in the mirror of Nature!

Alx

"People often forget that the rise of the kundalini sets off samskaras to be exhausted?"

I am learning this through experience. The high energies that have activated in my life were at first, a souce of great suffering...at least that was what I once thought. Everything was turned upside down - I was being transformed quite intensely and I thought, unpleasantly. For some time I resisted the workings of kundalini and found even greater suffering, distress and even physical illness.

Finally, exhausted in my resistance, I surrendered and began to experience the fire of cosmic change as a blessing. I found that unhealthy relationships ended, my employment situation changed in ways which were far beyond my control, opportunities began to present themselves to follow a life path in harmony with Soul, avenues of service opened up before me, everything in my life continued transforming but I began to appreciate this process as a rebirth of sorts...some of it painful, some of it pleasant...all of it moving me toward wholeness.

I simply stopped resisting.